Istanbul: where awesome meets swank

For today's blog posting, I would like to share an email that Tori and I crafted to Liz over dinner. Characters: Tori will be playing a Canadian posing as a New Yorker and I will be playing a non-Jew. Setting: we are using our points to stay at the W (the first in Europe, BTW) and so we think we are big time. Background: Although we did see some major sights today including the something something palace and the blue mosque, we failed to mention it. If this doesn't make sense, talk to the lychee martinis that are inside my belly. And scene...


Hi Liz! Hope you are having a fabulous time at the Barcelona Fuqua reunion. Hope the hotel is fab, the tapas are tasty, and the pool involves late night swimming.

Istanbul is such a treat. Since you left us in Santorini, we have managed to find: 2 swanky dinner restaurants (so far), hummus, scallops, sushi, a Turkish version of grits for desert, earrings for 2 lira (1.30$), blue eyeliner for 1.5 lira (.90 lira), Starbucks frappucinos, a ridiculous room with a private garden that doubles as a drying rack, and a private tour of harem quarters with an 80 year old man.

"Sweat" gym was really and we found ourselves playing a familiar game: gay or European?

Full day planed for tomorrow. We are planning to go to Asia for lunch and then back to Europe for shopping at the grand bazaar. All on public transport btdubs. We are tram experts, although it is sheer luck that we were able to get tokens out of the machine that only had instructions in Turkish.

Our concierge sent us to a swank place tonight. Tors had a passion fruit caipiroska that blows Ivan's specialty out of the water. Having a personal, typed letter under our door with our meal reservations is pretty sweet. Thanks Alparslan. Sadly we are not allowed to roam the streets of Istanbul at night as it's too dangerous so we are heading home to blog.

Love you!
T&C

Day something- something: Santorini

No lie, Santorini was an afterthought. We needed a place to go and after talking to a lot of people, we planned a trek to Santorini despite its reputation as a honeymoon hot spot. We had one day and we made it count. We rented a car and drove all around the island. Thank you to Dave and Anne Scott who taught Liz how to drive a stick. She is the [wo]man and chauffeured us around all day. 1^st stop was the black sand beach of Perissa. Black sand = really hot feet, but also really warm water. They way the mountain of rock stopped just in time to make a beach was like nothing I’ve ever seen before. And the sea bed was rock, not sand. After trying to tan the translucents like a local, we headed to Santo wines for wine tasting. In short, the wine was gross. Amazing view, but gross wine.

We made it to Oia just in time for sunset. It was immediately obvious that we should have stayed in the town instead of Fira, but hey whatcha gonna do? I think that pictures will do better justice than my words…

Day 17& 18: Myyyyyyykonos

Mykonos, oh Mykonos. We loved you for so many reasons. Beyond being a gorgeous town of white walls and colorful shutters, you introduced us to many wonderful things:

• Taziki- I still maintain that the ultimate spa treatment would be a bath in a vat of Taziki. It's gotta be good for your skin, or at least I tell myself that. We managed to order it at every meal and it was heavenly every time
• Shaping our asses- Our hotel was at the top of a hill and the town was at the bottom. We wanted to complain every time we had to walk back up, but we knew that it was good for us and that it helped to justify the amount of Taziki we ate
• Pink pelican(s)- I’m still not sure if there was more than one, but it was huge and georgous. I wonder if it could get into Harvard law with its pink hue like Elle Woods did
• Shopping at 5am- No joke. Some say that Greece is this economic predicament because Greeks don’t work. Not so in Mykonos. Stores were open at 5am in order to prey on drunk girls who like jewelry. I narrowly escaped the trap but only because I met a MD/MBA. Liz and Tors made friends with the owner of this one store and her daughter was so beautiful that she had suitors lining up to marry her (at the age of 18)
• Crepes- I couldn’t even keep the nutella and banana crepe in my hand. I was overwhelmed by emotion and sensation that I couldn’t speak or think. Unreal
• Super Paradise Beach- 2 euro for a beach chair and a view of super paradise. Beach, nude sunbathing, cocktails, world cup, dance music, and gogo dancers created the perfect storm that is Super Paradise beach. The logo for the beach is a serpent; the perfect illusion to the temptation that pushed Adam and Eve beyond the comfort of Eden*

*Biblical or historical references are probably completely wrong.

Day 16: Athens to Mykonos

Last night we stayed in the Hilton because Tori is a baller. We were in an executive suite on the top floor with a shower with hot water & a drain, towels that cover our bodies, TV with Sex in the City in English, 2 balconies, 2 couches, 2 insanely big closets, and 2 of my best friends. Breakfast was also on the executive floor and I dined this morning next to the president of Panama. True story. It is going to be really hard to go back to staying in shitholes.

After an amazing workout, Liz and I made good use of the 3 hours we had in Athens. We toured the Acropolis and Parthenon. The spiritual moment I was hoping to have evaded me but it was still an incredible sight. I’ve seen any ancient ruins in my ridiculous life (Rome, Sicily, Pompeii, Scotland, Israel, England, etc…) but I’ve never seen them juxtaposed again such a large and modern city.

With the cultural part checked off, we headed to the shopping streets and did a little bit of damage. The jewelry was so beautiful and it is a good thing that I still feel like I am on a student’s budget or I’d be bringing home lots of new fun. I compensated for the expenditures by getting a gyro for lunch that only cost €1.80, which was more than my Coke Light. We made it back in time to get a quick swim in before the ferry to Mykonos. I thought that Athens was great and I wish I had more time there.

We had a good first pass at a night out in Mykonos. We didn’t know where to go and were perpetually lost but Tori drank her shooter and we met some characters. It is quite difficult to know who is gay and who is European in this town but everyone is here to party and the debauchery is taken to another level, just like the lifting schedules of most of the men.

Some other things:

• The traffic is insane and the cab drivers get angry. A woman almost veered into us and the cabbie yelled and made hand-gestures that indicated he was placing a curse on the lady’s life

• The people were super nice. After dealing with the meanies in Croatia, this was a huge relief
• Greek food is insane.
  

Day 15: Split to Athens

Split is a cool place. The old town used to be Diolectian’s (a Roman Emperor) Palace and then the people build other buildings within the palace walls. I know that this doesn’t make much sense but I’m too lazy to really explain it. The other cool thing about Split is that it has more shoes stores per capita than any other city; and the shoes are nice.

To get to Athens, we flew Lufthansa through Munich. This was my first time on Lufthansa and my first time in Germany, and I was disappointed. I had expectations of efficiency and order but I experienced the opposite. Just was we were about to land in Munich, landing gear down and all, the plane aborted the landing and pulled back up into the air. The captain explained that there was another plane blocking the runway. What? How does that happen, especially in Germany? Then, when we unloaded off the bus, they made us go though security again, before we went through customs. I appreciate safety standards but this was just an unnecessary step that led to missed connections (as in flights, not the craig’s list kind), shouting (in German, which is particularly scary), and pushing (by Europeans who do not believe in deodorant). The upside of Gemany is that they love beer.

Most of the people on my flights were business men, all with a sense of arrogance and air of importance. Where are the women? Why aren’t they flying around Europe in Hugo Boss suits presumably making deals and meeting with partners? I suppose we still have a long way to go.

Speaking of men, I found the June edition of GQ in the hotel in Split and read it cover to cover during the trip. What a great magazine. I’m thinking about adding it to the rotation once I start my commute. I read articles about the military and divorce, a serial killer in Rocky Mount, NC, how to last longer (apparently the trick is to picture Mike Huckabee playing the bass), Indian wedding crashing, a transgender sports writer, and Silvio Burlusconi. This last article reminded of a conversation I had the other day with Rob about Europeans and nudity. Why are they more comfortable with nudity and being nude but are arguably more prude? He joked that it may be our purtian heritage, and clearly it has to do with what we see and are exposed to when we grow-up. Imagine a young Italian girl who sees ½ naked women on game shows or hears about the Prime Minister’s naked pool parties and orgies with girls 50 years younger. Of course she is going to hit the beaches of Capri Hvar naked. Let’s just hope that she doesn’t because the minister of education because of her “friendship” with some old balding dude. Good rant, huh?


Misc:

• Dudes should read GQ and then dress like the models in the magazine. I think that mankind would be happier if that happened

• Coke Zero’s demand is greater than its supply in Croatia, and the bottles are black. CZ reminds me of Scotty

• A shout-out to all of the Europeans who studied hard and learned English. You have made my travels much more pleasurable

Day 14: Hvar to Split to Trogir

Yesterday we said good-bye to Hvar. I got in a few more hours at the pool in the morning , and then we made our way by ferry back to Split. We then jumped on a bus to Trogir for a few hours in the afternoon. It was a cute town but at this point, everything is a cute town. One thing did change though; we ordered a bottle of Rose instead of white.

On the bus ride back, we noticed that everyone on the bus was a young woman in her 20s. Not sure what to make of it, but it was interesting. Also, Croatia seems to have a large middle class. We’ve covered a lot of the country and it all looks nice and relatively well-off.

Days 8-13: Hvar

Our trip from Dubrovnik to Hvar was a long one. We took a bus that went through various towns along the coast and it took about 4.5 hours. The ride was beautiful but I slept and listened to music (Grizly Bear, Peter Bjorn & Jon, Dirty Projectors, the XX, Yesayer, TV on the Radio, and Spoon) for most of the time. About 1.5 hours in, we crossed the border into Bosnia and had to show out documents to the big burly police dude. If I rode a bus through the country, does it count toward my list of countries I’ve visited?

We arrived in Split at 2:55pm, just enough time to miss the 3pm ferry. The women in Croatia do not like us and the one at the ferry ticket counter sent us to a terminal 10 minutes away, just so we could learn that we couldn’t buy tickets there. It was at that point that I really started to regret how much I packed, even though I will be living out of that suitcase until mid August.

Hvar was Amazing. The Riva (Croatian for waterfront promenade) was so beautiful and anywhere you went, you had a stunning view of the ocean and the perfect stone town. We met up with Zeller, Bechdol, Justin Daniel, Landy, Joe and Landy & Joe’s friend Tucker who had chartered a sailboat for a week. I was a jealous of their boat until we saw how cramped the living quarters were. We made the right decision regarding hotels, even though the Palace Hotel was reminiscent of a 70’s psychiatric ward.

We had some great nights out on the town and met some characters. Highlights include:

• Meeting my new gay Austrailan best friend and a hot-mess chick from DC (Vanessa!) who were there for a wedding

• JD drinking Pina Colada-esque drinks called orgasmos

• A Zoolander inspired walk-off between me and Tucker. He won even though I brought out the busdriver…

• Fishbowl drinks with sparklers (see pics)

• A game of would you rather that involved Tom Brady, a menorah, denim balls, and a pool of scotch

• Liz trying to explain Where’s Waldo to a guy named Will; Where’s Waldo, Where’s Will, same thing

Hvar on the water

We also were out on the water for 2 full days. The first time, the four of us rented a boat and drove around the islands near Hvar. Our favorite was Palmizana (pronounced paremesan) where there was a great bar and a mixologist from Bosnia. The drinks were really good. He spends the other half of the year in London and when we asked is he tends bar there as well, he replied, “I do other things there”. Not sketchy at all sir.

The second time was with Adam and Rob, two friends we made at the pool, and Stepek, our skipper. We went to Vis for the day to check out the blue cave and the town. The best part of the day was a game of asshole at lunch with wine that the restaurant made in their backyard. We were offered a place to stay in the Hamptons for the summer, but we’ll see if that actually happens.

Days 6-8: Dubrovnik

I’ve been slacking with my postings since I’ve been in Croatia. The internet connections have been poor and spotty and I’ve just been having too much fun.

Dubrovnik was a beautiful. For a walled town that survived many invasions and wars, it was very put-together and almost too perfect. We walked on top of the wall around the while city and took in incredible views of the city and the ocean. Courtney had told us of this little bar called Buza that is built into the wall and looks out on the sea. That was the start of the real relaxation.

The weather was cold and rainy so we didn't make it to the beach there. It was probably better since we spent so much time in the sun in Hvar. Instead, we had long lunches, Liz & I snuck into a spa at the 5 star Excelsior Hotel, and went to a war photo museum. It is pretty amazing to think that just 15 years ago the country was at war and was bombed to pieces. The city of Dubrovnik was without electricity or water for 6 months and 90% of the roofs had to be replaced. You can still see the marks of shrapnel and bullet holes on the walls of the buildings. And today, you'd never know that anything happened. The exhibition was literally gut-wrenching. I left feeling physically nauseous and mentally perplexed. How are people still committing genocide? How in 2010 are we still killing people because of their relgion or ethnicity?